Indeed it is a case of belated greetings, Bill. It hardly seems possible but it is more than two years since you were born.

You have created division and dissent. Hardly a healthy, worthwhile start to your life, is it? As for the cost of bringing you into this world, not something to be proud of. Really, you should have been put down at birth.

Bill, I won't call you my friend, although I have known you for most of your short and unpleasant life. I find you quite offensive, indeed devious and manipulative. Hardly the basis for lasting trust or friendship.

Your third birthday is less than a year away, and we all know how time flies. Perhaps your proud parents will consider euthanasia, it is the only reasonable option.

Why should society foot the bill for a father's mistake?